i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
