I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
