oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
