McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
