If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
