weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
well you can't waste a boner
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
