Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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