We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you win again, gameday.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
