Pappa wants mamma naked
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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