It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
