i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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