She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
