dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
