I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize