Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She said her name was "party"
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
