Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
