Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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