So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
