In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
