i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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