I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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