But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
