Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
