I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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