apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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