She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think your dad took our porno
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
