I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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