I swear she didn't look like that last week.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize