I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
