I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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