we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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