good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize