So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
this is an emotional support booty call
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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