good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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