He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
