The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize