Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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