So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
