A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
