It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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