Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
