I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
