Soap is not a condiment
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
