sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
