Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize