I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
