Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
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