all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
