do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
and she was petting her beer can
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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