Nicole vs. Life
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
whose parrot is this?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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