Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I smell like Dick and happiness
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
