She is in my trunk
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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