Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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