I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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