roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
