So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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