if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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