I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
