I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
