On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
