My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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