I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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