Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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