This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
