This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
